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Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More Hardcover – February 4, 2014

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,884 ratings

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In her profound and courageous New York Times bestseller, Janet Mock establishes herself as a resounding and inspirational voice for the transgender community—and anyone fighting to define themselves on their own terms.

With unflinching honesty and moving prose, Janet Mock relays her experiences of growing up young, multiracial, poor, and trans in America, offering readers accessible language while imparting vital insight about the unique challenges and vulnerabilities of a marginalized and misunderstood population. Though undoubtedly an account of one woman’s quest for self at all costs,
Redefining Realness is a powerful vision of possibility and self-realization, pushing us all toward greater acceptance of one another—and of ourselves—showing as never before how to be unapologetic and real.
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Far too many assume that Janet Mock's story is primarily about her body. This book is irrefutable evidence that Janet must be understood through her intellect, spirit, and wit. Janet does what only great writers of autobiography accomplish—she tells a story of the self, which turns out to be a reflection of all humanity. You will be changed by this book.” -- Melissa Harris-Perry, Wake Forest University Professor and host of MSNBC's "Melissa Harris-Perry"

“A fiery success.” ―
The Atlantic

“Mock’s compelling memoir entrancingly chronicles the story of a multiracial trans woman’s becoming within a society that is still widely antagonistic to the non-White, non-male, transgender, and economically challenged among us. . . . Mock has written herself into herstory. And she has done so with clarity and poetic brilliance.” ―
The Feminist Wire

“Courageous! Told with a spirit of raw honesty that moves beyond confession to redemptive revelation, this book is a life map for transformation—for changing minds. A heart-rending autobiography of love, longing, and fulfillment.” -- bell hooks, feminist, social activist, and author of All About Love

“Redefining Realness is a classic American autobiography. Like Richard Wright and Maya Angelou, Janet Mock brings us into a world we may not know and with breathtaking insight, courage, and masterful craft makes her story universal.” -- Barbara Smith, author of the Truth That Never Hurts: Writings on Race, Gender, and Freedom, co-founder of Kitchen Table: Women of Color Press

"Janet Mock’s groundbreaking book is testimony to the remarkable progress trans people have achieved over the last decade-- and shines a bright light on the work that still needs to be done. Mock’s clear, lucid prose will open hearts and minds, and further the goals of equality and justice--not just for trans people, but for everyone.
Redefining Realness is loving, searing, and true." -- Jennifer Finney Boylan, author of She’s Not There and Stuck in the Middle With You

“Redefining Realness is a riveting, emotional, crisply written testimony. I couldn't put it down. I aspire to be as unflinchingly brave! Janet Mock's story simultaneously embodies, complicates, and subverts the concept of American exceptionalism and self-creation.” -- Laverne Cox, actress, advocate, and star of Orange Is the New Black

“Defining oneself is a revolutionary act, and, as described in her memoir, Janet Mock fiercely fought to free herself with exquisite bravery and sensitivity.
Redefining Realness is full of hope, dreams, and determination. It is a true American girl story.” -- Michaela angela Davis, Image Activist/Writer/CNN Contributor

“Every Cinderella story has its problematic step-parents to maneuver around, and its metaphorical fireplaces to clean, before the heroine is whisked off to the ball. Janet Mock’s is no exception. But the real magic here is not of the fairy-tale kind.
Redefining Realness overflows with the everyday magic of survival and resiliency in low income communities of color, of loving kindness bursting through the cracks of a hard reality, and of the life-sustaining bonds of family, friendships, and a powerful trans sisterhood.” -- Susan Stryker, author of Transgender History and Associate Professor of Gender and Women’s Studies and Director of the Institute for LGBT, University of Arizona

"Janet Mock's honest and sometimes searing journey is a rare and important look into
la vida liminal, one that she manages to negotiate remarkably well, with grace, humor, and fierce grit. Mock doesn't only redefine what realness means to her, but challenges us to rethink our own perceptions of gender and sexuality, feminism and sisterhood, making this book a transcendent piece of American literature." -- Raquel Cepeda, author of Bird of Paradise: How I Became Latina

“An eye-opening and unapologetic story that is much greater than mere disclosure.... An enlightening, much-needed perspective on transgender identity.” ―
Kirkus Reviews

“Mock defies the historically apolitical confines of the transgender memoir, and draws bright lines connecting her experiences to the larger realm of social justice, with a keen political eye that uses her individual experience to elucidate the wider condition of trans women of color in the U.S. Her vivid prose arouses every sense.... Although the book is ostensibly one woman’s coming-of-age story, Mock fulfills grander purposes here; in coming to terms with her own difficult journey she also uses that experience didactically, as if to take the uninitiated, non-transgender reader with her, most certainly achieving 'realness.'” ―
Publishers Weekly

“A memoir that takes the coming-of-age narrative to both a higher and deeper level.... Mock juxtaposes the personal and the political with a dose of academic theory and pop culture, honestly detailing both the joys and difficulties of her journey.” ―
Slate.com

“A classic feminist coming-of-age story that’s worthy of your mantel. . . . Her memoir recounts a life that is both hardscrabble and hard-fought, making for a must-read book that is at turns riveting and wonderfully emotionally nuanced.” -- The Advocate

“The beauty of Mock’s memoir is that it is both personal and universal; her story is her own, but it also transcends the specificity of her life narrative to touch all of us.” ―
Lambda Literary

“Mock’s grace in handling complexity is matched by her frankness, and she talks race, class, and intersectional politics without ever sounding polemical.” ―
The Rumpus

“It's fully intersectional, deliciously activist, wonderfully unapologetic, brazen, and beautiful. I love Mock's book because, like the best feminist reads, it’s really about the insight that telling stories can be a revolutionary act.” -- Laura Ciolkowski, Associate Director of the Center for the Study of Social Difference and Adjunct Associate Professor of English and Comparative Literature at Columbia University

About the Author

Janet Mock is a writer, TV host, and advocate tackling stigma through storytelling. With a Master’s in journalism from New York University, the Honolulu native began her career as an editor at People.com and went on to write cover stories for Marie Claire, Interview, and The Advocate as well as essays for The New Yorker, The New York Times, and Lenny. She produced HBO’s The Trans List, hosts the podcast Never Before, and serves as a columnist for Allure. Called a “fearless new voice” and “trailblazing leader” who “changed my way of thinking” by Oprah Winfrey, Janet was a featured speaker at the historic Women’s March on Washington. She is the author of Surpassing Certainty and the New York Times bestseller Redefining Realness. Find out more at JanetMock.com.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 1476709122
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Atria Books (February 4, 2014)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9781476709123
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1476709123
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.1 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 1,884 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
1,884 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the story enlightening and thought-provoking. They describe the book as a wonderful, beautiful read with well-written, effortless writing. The author is honest and candid about her life as a transgender woman in America. Readers appreciate the candid and unapologetic prose.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

209 customers mention "Story quality"209 positive0 negative

Customers find the story engaging and thought-provoking. They appreciate the author's honest storytelling and insights into her journey. The book provides a fascinating look at gender and sexuality topics, making it an interesting literary journey.

"..."Redefining Realness" evoked thought, compassion, and awareness - everything I expected based on the title of the book, as well as the..." Read more

"I just finished reading this VERY MOVING BIOGRAPHY that my best friend suggested, on a subject I knew NOTHING ABOUT...." Read more

"...expected issues with parents who just don't understand, introductions to the community, discovering who you are, and Mock switching back and forth..." Read more

"Janet Mock has lifted the Trans memoir genre to a new level. In her gritty, girly, gifted debut she rivets readers with details from her formative..." Read more

177 customers mention "Readability"177 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and engaging. They describe it as a masterpiece, ground-breaking, and inspiring. Readers say it makes them feel good and is required reading for everyone on the planet.

"..."Redefining Realness" is a masterpiece, not only because of the content, but because of Mock's incredible writing skills...." Read more

"...MARGINALIZED by ignorance and prejudice may find Ms Mocks story well worth reading and their own lives enlightened by a subject that is basically..." Read more

"...into themselves, and not just about the procedure, are in for a good read." Read more

"...Her brilliance and determination is evident on the page and while she seems to stand apart from many of the Trans women of color who are inspired by..." Read more

83 customers mention "Writing quality"78 positive5 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book. They find the writing effortless and masterful, with a great narration. The author writes with emotion and rawness, making it easy to understand her story. Readers appreciate the clear and straightforward telling of a young boy maturing into an adult woman.

"...not only because of the content, but because of Mock's incredible writing skills...." Read more

"...Her brilliance and determination is evident on the page and while she seems to stand apart from many of the Trans women of color who are inspired by..." Read more

"...book personally resonated with me, Redefining Realness is masterfully written prose that will speak to anyone looking to gain insight on the trans..." Read more

"Well written, very thoughful. She is obviously very intelligent and blessed with a great and innate sense of self-motivation...." Read more

78 customers mention "Honesty"78 positive0 negative

Customers find the book honest and candid. They appreciate the author's courage and vulnerability in telling her story with courage and vulnerability. The book reveals the truthful, naked truth of a transwoman in America.

"...I appreciate her for using her unique story to inform, chastise, correct, and commend. That's what real women do...." Read more

"...of the human psychological experience that has been unknown but is VERY REAL and needs to be addressed and explored...." Read more

"...It was at once rewarding, revealing, and disturbing to read in full disclosure of her sex work--teen-age prostitution...." Read more

"Janet Mock speaks with a candid & straightforward intimacy...." Read more

44 customers mention "Gender"44 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's gender perspective. They find it insightful and helpful for understanding transgender individuals and their concerns. The candid story of a trans woman in America is well-written, with real people involved in the trans community. Readers appreciate the author's honesty and vulnerability in communicating her truths about gender and trans identities. Overall, the book helps readers understand the experiences of trans people of color and provides food for thought for future generations of trans women.

"...This is a love story. This is a book about social justice...." Read more

"...This book is an excellent tool for parents of Trans kids or teens...." Read more

"...open and knowledgeable, but most of all more caring and loving to all gender differences,despite not personally dealing with any of the things I..." Read more

"...A must read for all trans allies." Read more

28 customers mention "Writing style"28 positive0 negative

Customers find the writing style compelling and honest. They describe the narrative as addictive and enjoyable, describing it as an exciting and satisfying read that excites and informs them.

"...On top of all of this, Mock made me laugh. Her quick wit provided a much-welcomed intermission from a stressful and, at times, unbelievable read...." Read more

"...It was at once rewarding, revealing, and disturbing to read in full disclosure of her sex work--teen-age prostitution...." Read more

"Ms. Mock handles her subject with the same wit, grace and dignity with which she has lived her life...." Read more

"...I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed Janet's writing and all of her details Definitely an excellent book to more fully appreciate the..." Read more

12 customers mention "Pacing"10 positive2 negative

Customers enjoy the book's pacing. They find it moving, honest, and raw.

"...Janet Mock's 'coming of identity' is engaging, moving, frank, and educational...." Read more

"A beautiful, raw, unfiltered, inspirational account of a strong woman's journey through life...." Read more

"This book was so moving and real. I cried at so many points and appreciated the powerful discourse that Janet Mock embodied." Read more

"Great read. Moving and touching story - I learned a lot about trans people which is surprising considering I have a transgender family member and I..." Read more

10 customers mention "Voice"10 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the author's voice. They say it gives a voice to many who feel voiceless. The author's voice is intriguing and attention-grabbing. Readers also mention that she brings the voice of a transwoman of color that is underrepresented in transgender issues.

"...Hers is a strong voice with an important message that we should all listen to...." Read more

"I Janet Mock today at my college, TCNJ. She is beautiful, listens, validates...." Read more

"...Janet's voice is so intriguing and attention grabbing...." Read more

"...While you read, you hear her voice, feel her vulnerability and can't help but see yourself in her struggle - the universal struggle - of becoming..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2014
    "Redefining Realness" stirred up memories of my freshman year in college. During the spring semester, my English professor introduced the class to books by authors of subjects many of us had only heard of, but never even remotely experienced. Authors like E. Lynn Harris. His book "Just As I Am" sparked a fire in us that made us trample over other students hanging out in the quad, just to make it to the classroom in time to dissect the more than 380 pages of fictional sizzle. As we talked about the book and the issues it brought to the forefront, our discussions were filled with joy, anger, curiosity, and just a flat-out appreciation of Harris' writing skills.

    This is how I felt while reading "Redefining Realness" - even before completing the first chapter. With my excitement level on "high", I wanted to immediately hightail it to someone's book club and talk about what I had just read!

    This book is awesome. Janet Mock takes readers on the journey of her life as a trans woman of color - a journey that was as foreign to me as a map of the streets of Djibouti City. I honestly did not realize that the lives of transgender people were that intense (especially poor trans people of color). Thanks to media portrayals of trans men and women over the years, I likened them to "drag queens" and reduced their lives to simply being "people who like to play dress-up." To me, a person was either gay, lesbian, or straight. Nothing else. However, Mock's experience, passion, rawness, statistics, and transparency, taught me that the world does not fit neatly into compartments.

    "Redefining Realness" evoked thought, compassion, and awareness - everything I expected based on the title of the book, as well as the publicity which has surrounded it over the last few months. I thoroughly enjoyed Mock's storytelling (story within a story), particularly the imagery she used to tell her story. Much like her "shero" Zora Neale Hurston, Mock's descriptive writing engaged all of the standard senses and more. I felt the winds and humidity of Oahu. I saw Charles, Sr.'s gold tooth with the Cowboys' shout-out. I touched Keisha's hair right along with Jamie. I heard conversations in Hawaiian pidgen on the streets as Janet and Wendi pooched. I tasted grandma's gumbo while eavesdropping on family gossip. (The pop music references sprinkled throughout the book made it even more "real" for me because I remember where I was when all of those songs debuted!)

    On top of all of this, Mock made me laugh. Her quick wit provided a much-welcomed intermission from a stressful and, at times, unbelievable read. It was good to laugh to keep from crying. However, even in comedy, she managed to teach lessons. I'll never confuse a "drag queen" for a trans woman again because I now know "a drag queen is part-time for showtime. A trans woman is all the time." Love it!

    "Redefining Realness" is a masterpiece, not only because of the content, but because of Mock's incredible writing skills. I appreciate her for using her unique story to inform, chastise, correct, and commend. That's what real women do.

    I look forward to more work from Mock in any genre.
    21 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2015
    I just finished reading this VERY MOVING BIOGRAPHY that my best friend suggested, on a subject I knew NOTHING ABOUT. I say nothing because I'd heard about it but knew NOTHING ABOUT..and I think it's safe to say that MOST PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT. It was an education for me as it would be for anyone else who would want to know, whether your Transgender or just someone like myself, who wants to be informed about something that is just as REAL and SIGNIFICANT as a cure for cancer and aids would be.
    It's a subject that many people choose to ignore because it doesn't affect their lives or anyone that they know. And the fact it concerns a young woman of color, that automatically dismisses it as INSIGNIFICANT. However..for those who wish to step out of the proverbial racist box and open themselves up to a subject that is important..may not only be moved by it, but enlightened about the struggles of Transgender individuals of ALL RACES,CREEDS AND RELIGIONS whom are constantly at risk from a society that chooses to PRETEND that this is just another sick and twisted homosexual deviance..I can assure you that it is SO NOT.
    This is a subject that even psychologist and the entire medical profession is learning about. An area of the human psychological experience that has been unknown but is VERY REAL and needs to be addressed and explored. There is so much concerning human psychology that is still a mystery to the professionals that work in the field. This is just a small tip of a fathomless iceberg concerning the human condition.
    But..for those who wish to be enlighten to a world that is constantly being MARGINALIZED by ignorance and prejudice may find Ms Mocks story well worth reading and their own lives enlightened by a subject that is basically unknown. I know I was.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2016
    Consider this book almost like a 100 level course on what it means to be trans in the modern age. Now, be aware Janet's story isn't one which is all tears and fears followed by an eventual triumph. For while she did grow up in Hawaii and didn't have a middle-class family, it seems she was on the brink of poverty and never in the thick of it. With that said, though, you have your expected issues with parents who just don't understand, introductions to the community, discovering who you are, and Mock switching back and forth between educating you and speaking about her personal experiences. Thus giving you a book which feels well-rounded and while it may leave those curious about the process of transitioning unfulfilled, those who actually want to know the person and how they evolved into themselves, and not just about the procedure, are in for a good read.
    9 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
  • lc141071
    5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 26, 2023
    Wow what an amazing book! In fact I've already ordered Janet's second book and I haven't even finished this one yet. A very thought provoking story of survival and a determination to be who she is regardless of the consequences.

    This book goes towards a clear understanding of why it is so important to push forward for Trans rights throughout the world and over the course of time I'm sure this book and Janet will be viewed as a pioneering piece of work that stopped and made people think about how Trans people have a right to be who they where born to be....
  • Max
    5.0 out of 5 stars Tolles Buch einer tollen Frau
    Reviewed in Germany on April 7, 2020
    Janet Mock ist eine großartige Persönlichkeit und ich habe dieses Buch gerne gelesen. Es gibt es auch in englischer Version als Audiobuch, von ihr selbst gelesen und das ist ebenfalls super!
  • Alberto
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
    Reviewed in Mexico on December 4, 2017
    me encanto porque habla de su experiencia de una manera en la cual nos logran envolver a todos y sentirnos parte de ella. despuies de leerlo siento que la conozco de toda la vida.
  • Bond
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
    Reviewed in India on November 17, 2017
    good......
  • Chelsea Wendt
    5.0 out of 5 stars A smart and deeply personal book...
    Reviewed in Canada on March 9, 2014
    My copy of Janet Mock’s new Redefining Realness looks like a sticky note farm. She makes so many incisive remarks that I’ve had to take a lot of notes!

    This woman is a force to be reckoned with. Not only has she bared her soul in this book, she has used that intense light to bring strong focus to problems and questions that face trans people everywhere, as well as issues facing poor and non-white trans people in particular. She is a good writer and storyteller and I read the book in a hot joy over the weekend.

    Janet is clearly a feminist with a strong awareness of how our “choosing” to be feminine puts us in a particularly precarious position with regard to misogyny. We generally have to defend our right to express femininity. “It was a balancing act to express femininity in a world that is hostile toward it and frames femininity as artifice and fake, in opposition to masculinity, which often represents ‘realness.’”

    I loved this book. It is deeply personal and heartfelt, yet she generalizes from her own experience to make remarks of deep insight. She is very up to date on trans and other related issues and covers many of them with strength and care.

    Redefining Realness is certainly one of the most, and perhaps the most, useful trans autobiography I’ve read, and that’s a lot.