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Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology Hardcover – November 3, 2015

by Leah Remini (Author), Rebecca Paley (Author)

4.5 22,827 ratings

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • An eye-opening, no-holds-barred memoir about life in the Church of Scientology by the outspoken actress and star of the A&E docuseries Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath

Leah Remini has never been the type to hold her tongue. That willingness to speak her mind, stand her ground, and rattle the occasional cage has enabled this tough-talking girl from Brooklyn to forge an enduring and successful career in Hollywood. But being a troublemaker has come at a cost.

That was never more evident than in 2013, when Remini loudly and publicly broke with the Church of Scientology. Now, in this frank, funny, poignant memoir, the former King of Queens star opens up about that experience for the first time, revealing the in-depth details of her painful split with the church and its controversial practices.

Indoctrinated into the church as a child while living with her mother and sister in New York, Remini eventually moved to Los Angeles, where her dreams of becoming an actress and advancing Scientology’s causes grew increasingly intertwined. As an adult, she found the success she’d worked so hard for, and with it a prominent place in the hierarchy of celebrity Scientologists alongside people such as Tom Cruise, Scientology’s most high-profile adherent. Remini spent time directly with Cruise and was included among the guests at his 2006 wedding to Katie Holmes.

But when she began to raise questions about some of the church’s actions, she found herself a target. In the end, she was declared by the church to be a threat to their organization and therefore a “Suppressive Person,” and as a result, all of her fellow parishioners—including members of her own family—were told to disconnect from her. Forever.

Bold, brash, and bravely confessional, Troublemaker chronicles Leah Remini’s remarkable journey toward emotional and spiritual freedom, both for herself and for her family. This is a memoir designed to reveal the hard-won truths of a life lived honestly—from an author unafraid of the consequences.

Praise for Troublemaker

“An aggressively honest memoir . . . Troublemaker is the most raw and revealing Scientology memoir to date.”—Entertainment Weekly

“Leah’s story is a juicy, inside-Hollywood read, but it’s more than that. It’s a moving story about the value of questioning authority and how one woman survived a profound crisis of faith.”—People

“Remini [offers] up some juicy tidbits from her decades in the church.”—Newsweek

Print length

256 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Ballantine Books
Publication date

November 3, 2015
Dimensions

6.4 x 1.1 x 9.54 inches
ISBN-10

110188696X
ISBN-13

978-1101886960
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Popular Highlights in this book

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There is no “right” way to be. I am flawed and imperfect, but am uniquely me. I don’t fit in and probably never will. And I don’t have to try to anymore. That other person was a lie. And let’s face it, normal is boring. We all have something to offer the world in some way, but by not being our authentic selves, we are robbing the world of something different, something special.
Highlighted by 875 Kindle readers
Belief and faith are great, but very few people have been led astray by thinking for themselves.
Highlighted by 703 Kindle readers
Even though Scientology sees itself as the authority on ethics and responsibility, obscuring the truth is built into its core.
Highlighted by 453 Kindle readers

Editorial Reviews

Review

“An aggressively honest memoir . . . Troublemaker is the most raw and revealing Scientology memoir to date.”—Entertainment Weekly

“Leah’s story is a juicy, inside-Hollywood read, but it’s more than that. It’s a moving story about the value of questioning authority and how one woman survived a profound crisis of faith.”—People

“Remini [offers] up some juicy tidbits from her decades in the church.”—Newsweek

About the Author

Leah Remini is an actor, producer, and writer. A fixture on television since the age of eighteen, Remini is best known for her beloved role of Carrie on the nine-season hit The King of Queens. Remini went on to produce and star in one of the earliest and most successful comedic web series, In the Motherhood, and appeared in the movie Old School alongside Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn. In 2010, Remini helped launch and co-hosted the first season of the CBS daytime hit show The Talk, and in 2013 she was seen on the dance floor in Dancing with the Stars. She currently co-stars in the TV Land comedy The Exes and TLC’s reality show Leah Remini: It’s All Relative, which she also created and executive produces. Remini finds great joy in her philanthropic work with numerous and diverse military, women’s, and children’s charities. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and daughter.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

AS FAR BACK AS I can remember, I was always performing and trying to make people laugh. I grew up on I Love Lucy, Welcome Back, Kotter, Happy Days, Gilligan’s Island, Three’s Company, Sanford and Son, All in the Family, Good Times…You get the idea. Watching all of these shows always made me feel something. I knew early on that I wanted to make people feel this same way.

As a kid I was always putting on shows—re-creating skits from The Carol Burnett Show and singing Donny and Marie songs in the living room. My older sister, Nicole, reluctantly played my sidekick; although she never had any enthusiasm for these skits and performances, she obliged. I also took to giving her notes like “Nic, Donny loves Marie, so when we do ‘I’m a Little Bit Country,’ you gotta look at me like he looks at Marie, with a smile and maybe a wink.” She would respond with “Or how about I just punch you in the face?” Okay, we all make choices as performers.

WHEN I WAS NINE YEARS old, I heard that the Broadway musical Annie was holding open auditions for the lead role. I didn’t let the fact that I had no singing talent or acting experience deter me. My mom supported me, believing that I would one day be an actress, and she got a playwright friend to teach me the song “Tomorrow” and take me to the group audition. Her boyfriend at the time photographed me for my “headshots,” in which I wore my very best Little House on the Prairie shirt. When I got the pictures back, I was seriously floored at how beautiful I looked. Clearly, the Annie people would see this little gem from Brooklyn and want to hire me on the spot—but I was still willing to sing for them if need be.

The audition was a cattle call, which meant everyone was assigned a number and sat in the audience section of a huge theater until that number was called. The image running through my mind was that of a front-page headline in the New York Post: “Brooklyn Girl with No Experience Nabs Annie Role.” Whatever I lacked in terms of dancing or singing, someone could teach me. I had the chutzpah to land the part. And as for my long, straight brown hair—well, that’s what wigs were for. And with that, I was off to hand the director my picture.

But as soon as my name was called and I got onstage, facing the director and all those people sitting in the darkened theater, I went blind with panic.

The pianist hit a key and I started to sing immediately. “The—”

“No. That’s for the key,” the director interrupted.

“Okay. Well, maybe you should tell people…Do you want me to start again?” I said.

“That’s okay. Go home to Mommy,” the director said as he looked down at his clipboard.

I burst into tears before I had even gotten off the stage. I was crying the way kids do when they can’t catch their breath. My mom’s friend, the one who taught me the song, who had brought me to the audition, took me for a slice of pizza and an Italian ice, over which we discussed how that director would regret not hiring me and how Annie would bomb without me. The Broadway show Annie would suffer and suffer big without me in it!

WHEN I WASN’T ACTING OUT my favorite TV shows, Nicole and I could be found hanging out on Eighty-sixth Street, near Bay Parkway, where loud music thumped from the cars to get girls’ attention, even though the guys in their gold chains, Old Spice, and gelled hair acted like they were too cool to care. I aspired to be one of those girls whose attention the guys sought—tight Jordache and Sergio Valente jeans with a brush jammed in the back pocket, lots of makeup and Aqua Net, and even more attitude. All they ever seemed to do was hang out on the corner—like a hooker, but not—and I wanted in. I vowed that when I was older—maybe twelve or thirteen—I would be just like them.

This was Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, circa 1980. We talked tough, but ultimately it was a protective neighborhood for those who belonged. When a car alarm went off, there would be five Joeys and Frankies out on the street with bats within two minutes. There was no such thing as minding your own business. If a boyfriend was fighting with his girlfriend, another guy would start yelling at him: “Yo, don’t fuckin’ talk to a girl like that.” ’Nuff said.

When we were kids, our neighborhood—basically consisting of a bakery, a pizzeria, a bagel store, a Baskin-Robbins, a Chock full o’Nuts, a Te-Amo, and an Optima—was our whole universe.

While Manhattan, just a quick train ride away, was foreign to Nicole and me, places like Long Island and New Jersey were another planet. When our mom took us to the Poconos for vacation (a rarity), we met a group of girls who asked us if we wanted to help “collect things for a collage.” First we had to clear up what a collage was, because my sister and I didn’t speak French. When it rained, these kids stayed inside and played Atari, unlike us Brooklyn kids, who were used to hanging out in front of the candy store come rain, sleet, or mini-hurricane.

Our regular neighborhood haunt was the local Te-Amo convenience store, near the D train. We could also be found at other people’s houses, where it seemed there were always better toys and better food than at ours. I spent a lot of time at my friend’s place above our apartment on Bay Parkway. She had a Barbie Dreamhouse, which back then, to little girls, was pretty much the equivalent of crack. That’s where I was playing one day when my mom called Nicole and me down to share some news.

“I’ve got to tell you girls something,” Mom said. “Your dad and I are separating. I don’t want you to be upset. I’m okay, and we’re going to be okay.”

I sat there basically without expression and looked at my sister, wondering if I should try to fake being more upset.

George, my dad, was the classic paesan of Sicilian origin who used hairspray on his remaining three hairs, wore a rope chain and pinky ring, got his nails done, and kept his car—a Cadillac, of course—perfectly clean and smelling good with one of those scented trees that hang from the rearview mirror. And I was scared shitless of the man.

He never hit me. (Nicole, on the other hand, would get smacked. “You are older. You should know better,” he used to say to my sister, as if she were going to college already, though she was just a year older than me.) What terrified me was the way my dad could annihilate you when he spoke, throwing around words like “idiot,” “retard,” “moron” at the drop of a hat.

One time when we were little and pretending to make soup in the bathroom sink out of his Old Spice, Contac cold capsules, and most of the other contents of the medicine cabinet, I saw my dad at the end of the hallway. When he asked, “What the fuck are you’s doing?” I got hot all over and couldn’t say a word. After Nicole answered, “We are making a soup,” he spanked her. For some reason I always laughed when my sister got hit. I’m sure it was a defense against more complicated emotions. Or I was just evil as a kid and liked her getting hit.

“Idiots,” he said. “Get into your room.”

He was only raising us the way he had been raised, but anytime he was around, I was tense—even when he was trying to be kind. For example, one time when I came to the dinner table, I found a paper bag on my chair, so I didn’t sit down.

“What are you going to do, stand there?” he asked, looking at me.

“What’s the right answer?

I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so I didn’t say anything.

“Pick up the bag, idiot,” my dad said.

Thinking this was some kind of a trick, I nervously picked up the bag and opened it. Inside was a doll. By the time I realized what it was, however, I was so wound up that I had started to cry.

“What’s with you?” Dad started yelling. “Someone tries to give you a gift and you’re crying?”

I couldn’t catch my breath to explain.

I remember once when I carelessly shoved a box of cookies into the kitchen cabinet. My dad walked by, saw what I was doing, and said, “What kind of fucking animal puts cookies back this way?!” He grabbed the box and threw the cookies across the room.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Ballantine Books; American First edition (November 3, 2015)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 110188696X
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1101886960
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.17 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.4 x 1.1 x 9.54 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #209,692 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #13 in Scientology
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- #6,589 in Memoirs (Books)

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Leah Remini is an actor, producer, and #1 New York Times bestselling author. A fixture on television since the age of eighteen, Remini is best known for her beloved role of Carrie on the nine-season hit The King of Queens. Remini went on to produce and star in one of the earliest and most successful comedic web series, In the Motherhood, and appeared in the movie Old School alongside Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn. In 2010, Remini helped launch and co-hosted the first season of the CBS daytime hit show The Talk, and in 2013 she was seen on the dance floor in Dancing with the Stars. She currently co-stars in the TV Land comedy The Exes and TLC’s reality show Leah Remini: It’s All Relative, which she also created and executive produces. Remini finds great joy in her philanthropic work with numerous and diverse military, women’s, and children’s charities. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and daughter.

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A. Bazin

A Brilliant, Gutsy, Brutally Honest, Funny and Harrowing Biography and Expose of Scientology

Reviewed in the United States on November 3, 2015

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It's 7:20 AM as I write this, and I haven't slept since I started reading this book, moments after downloading it. I'm about 80% done at this point, but had to stop and post this early review (I'll update this a bit when I'm 100% done). I've never been much of a fan of sitcoms, so I'm not exactly part of the audience who has had much experience with Leah's acting work - although I knew who she was, certainly. I'd seen enough however to know I found her appealing and incredibly attractive long before I learned she'd be writing this just from what I'd seen in an episode of two of King of Queens. When I heard advance word of the release, having read just about every book there is on the subject of Scientology (from Inside Scientology, to Bare Faced Messiah, to Beyond Belief to The Unbreakable Miss Lovely), from personal accounts to journalistic exposes, I eagerly anticipated Troublemaker. The biggest surprise for me, first off, is how supremely readable "Troublemaker" is - how entertaining, honest, unpretentious, shocking and just plain funny it is. Leah has a big mouth, and she knows it, but her writing speaks directly to the reader in an open and unfiltered way that books written by celebrities rarely do. She isn't a bulls***ter, and she's not going to sugarcoat anything, including her herself. She even starts with something of a confession of past perceived sins, as she is all to aware that Scientology will strike at her as they are known to do, by using information gleaned from auditing to embarrass, intimidate and discredit. She knows she is now "fair game." Even with the little that I knew about her, her account of her early years with her family and struggles as an actress are highly entertaining, and make an honest impression that makes you feel more like a confidant than a reader. For this type of book, it is, surprisingly, very well written - free of fanciful prose, but deeply engaging, concise and highly personal. The early biographical chapters are vital, as it turns out, as it sets a very clear stage for why she was bound to one day become a monumental thorn in the side of Scientology. A theme that pops up a few times is how Leah was sometimes perceived as "lacking in class" (code sometimes used to discredit or embarrass truth tellers, female ones in particular) in comparison to the norm of perceived celebrities and society's elite. This book shows, clearly, that she has more class than the majority of Hollywood's elite put together. I can't wait to read the remaining 20%, and regardless of my ignorance of her acting career, with this book she's become one of my favorite people. If only more people in the world had the guts that Leah clearly has. More so than even the recent Going Clear documentary, this book, in my opinion, has the potential to expose Scientology for the abusive, draining, exploitative, paranoid and disingenuous organization that it has become, the Church of Cruise and Miscavige. And if you're looking for a real window into the bizarre, rarefied world of celebrity scientologists (Leah attending Tom Cruise's wedding to Katie Holmes, for example, and the subsequent fallout after she is brazenly manipulated to get J Lo and Marc Anthony to attend as well, is jaw dropping) you need look no further. Highly, highly recommended.

761 people found this helpful

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Abigail

A Courageous Exposure of Scientology - Honors to Leah for Revealing the Poison inside the Sugar-Coated Pill of the "Church."

Reviewed in the United States on December 21, 2016

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No wonder Leah Remini's book is a blockbuster. It is extremely well written. More than that, she provides in detail a chilling account of the steps deployed to ensnare good and trusting people--and families--how they can be seduced into a dark cult of exploitation and isolation from the world. Leah Remini provides an heartfelt and honest task of describing how, in a needy moment, her mother believed that this spiritual path of Scientology was a positive and enlightening step for her daughters. Once inside, there is little chance to walk away. There is no part of an individual's life that is not excavated, plundered, and used against that person. In addition, as Remini describes in detail, there is no way that Scientology does not suck dry every possilble cent and asset from its victims. Start small with the cost of "teaching supplies" being about $35, and then get each person in financial quicksand and debt up to their ears for life in quicksand. Make them go in debt. Make them sell their 401Ks and cash out pensions. Make them sell their homes. All assets to the Church where the largesse of the fortune quietly disappears under the auspices of the Chairman of the Board, David Miscavige, a brutal sociopath at best. Through unbearable pressure and threats, Scientology extracts as much as a quarter-million dollars from many of its ordinary members (from credit card debt, retirement plans, homes, cars, educational funds, and from all tangible assets) that desperate members might be driven to liquidate. From celebrity members, frequent donations of a million or more are expected. Where it goes is into the pocket of Miscavige, his tiny cabal, and the impenetrable and inescapable compounds he builds throughout the world.

Those who come in alone are more empowered to walk away unscathed. Those who come in with family are sitting ducks for abuse and exploitation. Miscavige and his crew use the deadly ploy of triangulation to keep members hostage. Knowing that you can never, never, never have contact with a spouse, your children, or parents, or any other relatives--the fear and terror of that--means most of the victims choose to stay and see it through. If they can get to your family and friends inside the church (very possibly the only support system you've ever known), they can keep you from leaving. Even if a member decides to leave at all costs and leave many family members behind, the price is so high as to be at a criminal level. "Troubemakers" like Leah who dare to question the chain of authority and purpose of the Church find themselves slapped with loathsome jobs punished cruelly, assigned menial laboring tasks, forced to stand in a garbage can for hours while others pour water over them. Many have attested how Miscavige beat them mercilessly, choking them, giving them black eyes. A tiny man of slightly over 5-feet tall, Miscavige has overcompensated his inferiority by seizing power of an international scheme, conducting his entire life on God-like terms, and even requiring his own father to refer to him at all times by, "Sir." Children and parents are separated and rarely interact. Instead of a formal education, the children caught in the claws of Scientology are given books and lessons about Scientology, not about the real world. A member who has been in the Church for 25 years, like Remini and others, have no education, no skills, no money, no means of support, even if they were able to hatch a plan for escape. The more attention drawn to Scientology, the more easily appalled members can escape. Operating under secrecy makes Scientology powerful, but having to account for its actions breaks it open.

Those who do effect an escape are often subjected to years of harassment and intimidation in the outside world. False documents are prepared to get them fired. Pretext phone calls full of slander are sent to their families and friends. Lies about them being prostitutes with venereal diseases are copied onto papers and passed out to their neighbors. Their personal property is destroyed. The Mafia couldn't do a better job of terrifying and intimidating a marked person. The message is: Leave us at your peril. We will get you. We will destroy you.

The value of Leah's remarkable book is that it is deeply personal, told with an inner voice of great intelligence, compassion, and strength for the family she treasures. One cannot but admire the ferocity of her commitment to her husband and child, and her other family members. It is this burning determination of Leah's that transcends all the psycho/spiritual babble of the Church. Waking up from a nightmare is a frightening experience, but Leah uses every shred of her courage and intelligence to get her and her family out of the Church. She's one tough woman from the Brooklyn who doesn't tolerate BS. She speaks up. She challenges authority. She curses. She gives as good as she gets. She asks vital and key questions. She demands to know why she has devoted her life to this religious organization that devalues her. Her courage is overwhelming to witness. Even throughout her struggle, Remini has tried for years to meet the specific burdens and demands forced upon her by the Church, in the hope that, fulfilling these, might bring her solace, family connection, and peace. At every turn in attempting to uncover the real goal of the church, she is stymied, and this endless thwarting only serves to increase her suspicions that the Church is a fraud, a front for money and power. A fraud, and that is what Leah finally discovers. To this reader, I was appalled by the lengths Scientologists would go to intimidate and keep members from escaping. Newer members, or those who have expressed doubts about the Church, are assigned "minders" to ensure that they cannot escape, even if it's for a visit to the dentist. One can see the draconian measures the upper echelon has taken to assure that no one will leave, and it reminds one of the most heinous prisons worldwide. Simply google the secret HQ in Hemet, CA (Gold Base) to see the razor wire and long, sharp metal knives on the fence perimeter, pointing INWARD as well as outward to guarantee that no member can leave. It is a dark hole into which the "troublemakers" are thrown for years on end. And they are thrown there without any hope of contacting relatives and friends in the outside world by phone or letter. It is a prison overtly sparkling with exquisite buildings, lush accommodations for the wealthy, swimming pools and tennis courts for the elite even as the defiant are forced into hard labor all day, every day in dark holes of Gold Base--unable to leave.

At its most basic level, Scientology appears to the naive to be a spiritual haven for those who are searching for meaning in this word. That is a lofty goal. However, that is the trickster veneer. In fact, Scientoilogy's ultimate goal is a twisted, sharp-toothed, ravenous, voracious maw that sucks up fortunes, assets, families, and human labor to elevate its Lilliputian chairman and his ruthless henchmen to the height of power. The Office of the Attorney General should expend its resources to expose this malignant organization once and for all. Miscavige's wife Shelly has not been seen by any reliable source in more than 10 years. Most suspect that she is dead, though the Church refuses to admit it. Only in exposing the real purpose of Scientology will it crumble. Leah Remini, at great personal cost to herself and family, has begun that journey of exposure, and I am so deeply grateful for her courage in writing this book. Thank you, Leah. Thank you for showing the world the deadly jagged glass hidden inside the sugar-coated pill of Scientology. God-willing, potential victims will read your book and stay far, far away from this fascist organization.

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Darian Brown

Adored it, really interesting

Reviewed in Canada on August 2, 2023

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Super interesting perspective, and Leahs light hearted tone through the book had me enjoying every word. Super good book, big recommend!

Sarah Jayne Drysdale

Love this book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 23, 2024

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As soon as I got it and started reading I was hooked. She’s honest and it’s really interesting hearing about her life. I would definitely recommend this book

Ania

Top! Wirklich lesenswert

Reviewed in Germany on April 18, 2023

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Ich habe nie KOQ geschaut und Leah war mir eigentlich relativ egal…
Nach dem Buch bin ich ein Fan! Tolle Frau, Wahnsinns Geschichte und gut geschrieben… und bei weitem nicht so trocken wie viele andere Scientology Bücher

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DD

Amazing ! One of the best books I have ever read !

Reviewed in Italy on December 28, 2021

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Congratulations and all my compliments to Leah Remini !

Placeholder

Enlightening, entertaining and engaging.

Reviewed in India on January 4, 2019

Verified Purchase

First of all Scientology is so dumb, it's unbelievable. As an outsider I always found Tom Cruise creepy, like a Rat that has a lions mask, but literally everyone around me as a kid n teen would just gush about him! I have never followed his work, but next big memory of Tom Cruise was his infamous jumping on Oprah's couch incident. Now reading this book, I actually feel a Sense of Pity and understanding of what this cult n set up can do to a person's mental setup. Attention like alcohol will affect anyone's head after a certain point. The sheer quantity of attention poured on a Tom Cruise..can make a ton of elephants drunk for eternity! Coming back to this book and its author, I knew Leah Remini from watching a bit of King of Queens. She is real. Period. She is funny, articulate and passionate. That comes across. Also, she is full of beans but she is also candid and uncalculating as evidenced that she gets herself the short end of the stick most often. I would believe her anyday over a ridiculously stupid, n dangerously creepy church . Most of us will believe Leah because it is the experience of all of humanity that all institutions become rotten by virtue of people who take positions of power and place themselves above question or reproach. I hope Scientology is fully exposed. The story that has left me truly shocked is that of Shelly Miscavige. How come the govt. And FBI are ok with a person vanishing from face of earth! This is their concern for citizens?! They bombed life out of Iraq but wont lift a finger to find a US Citizen who has vanished suspiciously, and ignore every concern raised about it! Makes no bloody sense at all! Finally, Leah Remini..you are a force! May God protect you!

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