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Reasons to Stay Alive BOOK REVIEW!Vickie Bunny

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From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Midnight Library.

"Destined to become a modern classic." —Entertainment Weekly

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FEEL TRULY ALIVE?

At the age of 24, Matt Haig's world caved in. He could see no way to go on living. This is the true story of how he came through crisis, triumphed over an illness that almost destroyed him and learned to live again.

A moving, funny and joyous exploration of how to live better, love better and feel more alive, Reasons to Stay Alive is more than a memoir. It is a book about making the most of your time on earth.

"I wrote this book because the oldest clichés remain the truest. Time heals. The bottom of the valley never provides the clearest view. The tunnel does have light at the end of it, even if we haven't been able to see it . . . Words, just sometimes, really can set you free."

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The price for being intelligent enough to be the first species to be fully aware of the cosmos might just be a capacity to feel a whole universe’s worth of darkness.
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If you have ever believed a depressive wants to be happy, you are wrong. They could not care less about the luxury of happiness. They just want to feel an absence of pain.
Highlighted by 1,727 Kindle readers
If you are the type of person who thinks too much about stuff then there is nothing lonelier in the world than being surrounded by a load of people on a different wavelength.
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Maybe love is just about finding the person you can be your weird self with.
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You can be a depressive and be happy, just as you can be a sober alcoholic.
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	How To Stop Time	Notes on a Nervous Planet	The Comfort Book	The Midnight Library

Customer Reviews	30,792	7,151	2,971	248,920
Price	$12.39	$10.41	$11.51	$14.46

Editorial Reviews

Review

Named one of Entertainment Weekly's Must-Read Books of 2016

Finalist for the Waterstone's Book of the Year

"Destined to become a modern classic." —Entertainment Weekly

"An in-depth exploration of Haig’s battle with depression, if you need a pick-me-up on a very fundamental level, you could do a lot worse than this book." - PEOPLE

"I dog-eared 45 pages in Haig's compact book where he wrote profound or poignant things. I could have easily marked more of them." - Jim Higgings, THE MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL

"Wonderful and essential" - Christopher Weir, THE HUFFINGTON POST

"a quick, witty and at times profound take on an illness many people suffer from, but sometimes can’t bring themselves to talk about." - THE MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE

"Things just got real. His honest — and surprisingly funny — first person account is a reminder that no matter how hopeless life may seem, it really never is." - NY METRO

“A scintillating read.” - THE DAILY MAIL

"REASONS TO STAY ALIVE is essential reading for anyone who has dealt with depression and for anyone who loves someone with the disease." - BOOK REPORTER

"Fascinating and beautifully written." - IAN RANKIN

"Brings a difficult and sensitive subject out of the darkness and into the light." - MICHAEL PALIN

"Matt Haig is astounding." - STEPHEN FRY

"Maybe the most important book I've read this year" - SIMON MAYO

"A life-saving book" - AMANDA CRAIG

"Matt Haig uses words like a tin-opener. We are the tin" - JEANETTE WINTERSON

"Brings a difficult and sensitive subject out of the darkness and into the light" - MICHAEL PALIN

"Thoughtful, honest and incredibly insightful" - JENNY COLGAN

"Brilliant and salutary . . . should be on prescription" - REV. RICHARD COLES

"A vibrant, encouraging depiction of a sinister disorder." KIRKUS REVIEW

"Warm and engaging, and shot through with humour...a valuable contribution to the conversation." - THE SUNDAY TIMES

Praise for How To Stop Time

“Matt Haig’s latest book, How To Stop Time, is marvelous in every sense of the word. Clever, funny, poignant, and written with Haig’s trademark blend of crystalline prose and deft storytelling, this is a book that stirs the heart and mind in equal measure. A hugely enjoyable read.” - Deborah Harkness author of The All Souls Trilogy

"Compelling and full of life's big questions, How To Stop Time is a book you will not be able to put down." —Graeme Simsion, author of The Rosie Project

"The narrator is 400 years old, but the sardonic asides give this pacy novel a modern twist. Matt Haig has designs on our heartstrings . . . The energy and zip of this book are hard to resist." —The Guardian

"Matt Haig is astounding." —Stephen Fry

About the Author

Matt Haig is the internationally bestselling writer of six novels, including the New York Times bestseller The Midnight Library and How To Stop Time. He has also written award-winning children’s books. His work has been translated into thirty languages. He has written two memoirs, Reasons to Stay Alive, an international bestseller, and Notes on a Nervous Planet.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

This book is impossible

Thirteen years ago I knew this couldn’t happen. I was going to die, you see. Or go mad.

There was no way I would still be here. Sometimes I doubted I would even make the next ten minutes. And the idea that I would be well enough and confident enough to write about it in this way would have been just far too much to believe.

One of the key symptoms of depression is to see no hope. No future. Far from the tunnel having light at the end of it, it seems like it is blocked at both ends, and you are inside it. So if I could have only known the future, that there would be one far brighter than anything I’d experienced, then one end of that tunnel would have been blown to pieces, and I could have faced the light. So the fact that this book exists is proof that depression lies. Depression makes you think things that are wrong.

But depression itself isn’t a lie. It is the most real thing I’ve ever experienced. Of course, it is invisible.

To other people, it sometimes seems like nothing at all. You are walking around with your head on fire and no one can see the flames. And so—as depression is largely unseen and mysterious—it is easy for stigma to survive. Stigma is partic-ularly cruel for depressives, because stigma affects thoughts and depression is a disease of thoughts.

When you are depressed you feel alone, and that no one is going through quite what you are going through. You are so scared of appearing in any way mad you internalize every-thing, and you are so scared that people will alienate you further you clam up and don’t speak about it, which is a shame, as speaking about it helps. Words—spoken or written—are what connect us to the world, and so speaking about it to people, and writing about this stuff, helps connect us to each other, and to our true selves.

I know, I know, we are humans. We are a clandestine species. Unlike other animals we wear clothes and do our procreating behind closed doors. And we are ashamed when things go wrong with us. But we’ll grow out of this, and the way we’ll do it is by speaking about it. And maybe even through reading and writing about it.

I believe that. Because it was, in part, through reading and writing that I found a kind of salvation from the dark. Ever since I realized that depression lied about the future I have wanted to write a book about my experience, to tackle depression and anxiety head-on. So this book seeks to do two things. To lessen that stigma, and—the possibly more quixotic ambition—to try and actually convince people that the bottom of the valley never provides the clearest view. I wrote this because the oldest clichés remain the truest. Time heals. The tunnel does have light at the end of it, even if we aren’t able to see it. And there’s a two-for-one offer on clouds and silver linings. Words, just sometimes, can set you free.

A note, before we get fully underway

Minds ar e unique. They go wrong in unique ways. My mind went wrong in a slightly different way to how other minds go wrong. Our experience overlaps with other people’s, but it is never exactly the same experience. Um -brella labels like “depression” (and “anxiety” and “panic disorder” and “OCD”) are useful, but only if we appreciate that people do not all have the same precise experience of such things.

Depression looks different to everyone. Pain is felt in different ways, to different degrees, and provokes different responses. That said, if books had to replicate our exact experience of the world to be useful, the only books worth reading would be written by ourselves.

There is no right or wrong way to have depression, or to have a panic attack, or to feel suicidal. These things just are. Misery, like yoga, is not a competitive sport.But I have found over the years that by reading about other people who have suffered, survived, and overcome despair, I have felt comforted. It has given me hope. I hope this book can do the same.

1

Falling

But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.—Albert Camus, A Happy Death

The day I died

i can remember the day the old me died.

It started with a thought. Something was going wrong. That was the start. Before I realized what it was. And then, a second or so later, there was a strange sensation inside my head. Some biological activity in the rear of my skull, not far above my neck. The cerebellum. A pulsing or intense flickering, as though a butterfly was trapped inside, combined with a tingling sensation. I did not yet know of the strange physical effects depression and anxiety would create. I just thought I was about to die. And then my heart started to go. And then I started to go. I sank, fast, falling into a new claustrophobic and suffocating reality. And it would be way over a year before I would feel anything like even half-normal again.

Up until that point I’d had no real understanding or awareness of depression, except that I knew my mum had suffered from it for a little while after I was born, and that my great-grandmother on my father’s side had ended up committing suicide. So I suppose there had been a family history, but it hadn’t been a history I’d thought about much.

Anyway, I was twenty-four years old. I was living in Spain—in one of the more sedate and beautiful corners of the island of Ibiza. It was September. Within a fortnight, I would have to return to London, and reality. After six years of student life and summer jobs. I had put off being an adult for as long as I could, and it had loomed like a cloud. A cloud that was now breaking and raining down on me.

The weirdest thing about a mind is that you can have the most intense things going on in there but no one else can see them. The world shrugs. Your pupils might dilate. You may sound incoherent. Your skin might shine with sweat. And there was no way anyone seeing me in that villa could have known what I was feeling, no way they could have appreciated the strange hell I was living through, or why death seemed such a phenomenally good idea.

I stayed in bed for three days. But I didn’t sleep. My girl-friend Andrea came in with water at regular intervals, or fruit, which I could hardly eat.

The window was open to let fresh air in, but the room was still and hot. I can remember being stunned that I was still alive. I know that sounds melodramatic, but depression and panic only give you melodramatic thoughts to play with. Anyway, there was no relief. I wanted to be dead. No. That’s not quite right. I didn’t want to be dead. I just didn’t want to be alive. Death was something that scared me. And death only happens to people who have been living. There were infinitely more people who had never been alive. I wanted to be one of those people. That old classic wish. To never have been born. To have been one of the three hundred million sperm that hadn’t made it.

(What a gift it was to be normal! We’re all walking on these unseen tightropes when really we could slip at any second and come face to face with all the existential horrors that only lie dormant in our minds.)

There was nothing much in this room. There was a bed with a white patternless duvet, and there were white walls. There might have been a picture on the wall but I don’t think so. I certainly can’t remember one. There was a book by the bed. I picked it up once and put it back down. I couldn’t focus for as much as a second. There was no way I could express fully this experience in words, because it was beyond words. Literally, I couldn’t speak about it prop-erly. Words seemed trivial next to this pain.

I remembered worrying about my younger sister, Phoebe. She was in Australia. I worried that she, my closest genetic match, would feel like this. I wanted to speak to her but knew I couldn’t. When we were little, at home in Nottinghamshire, we had developed a bedtime communication system of knocking on the wall between our rooms. I now knocked on the mattress, imagining she could hear me all the way through the world.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I didn’t have terms like “depression” or “panic disorder” in my head. In my laughable naivete I did not really think that what I was experiencing was something that other people had ever felt. Because it was so alien to me I thought it had to be alien to the species.

“Andrea, I’m scared.”

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“What’s happening to me?”

“I don’t know. But it’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t understand how this can be happening.”

On the third day, I left the room and I left the villa, and I went outside to kill myself.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Life; Reprint edition (February 23, 2016)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0143128728
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0143128724
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.7 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.01 x 0.72 x 6.95 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #11,966 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #6 in Coping with Suicide Grief
- #17 in Depression (Books)
- #485 in Memoirs (Books)

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4.5 16,746 ratings

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Matt Haig

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Matt Haig is the internationally bestselling author of the novels The Midnight Library, How to Stop Time, The Humans, The Radleys, children's novel A Boy Called Christmas, and memoir Reasons to Stay Alive. His latest novel is The Life Impossible, which will be published in summer 2024. His work has been translated into over fifty languages.

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JM

So Enlightening

Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2023

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Reading this book gave me such valuable insight into how someone feels when depressed. I have never experienced it, but my son has. Now I feel much better equipped to talk to him about it and understand a little better where he is coming from. Plus, it was very interesting to read about the ways to ward it off, I know exercise is a big one for him.
I’m so very glad I read it.

6 people found this helpful

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Art by Creed

Excellent ! Bravo !

Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2023

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This author is amazing. I thought it might be depressing, but turns out to be quite the opposite. His journey to recovery, or more like a healthy understanding is so invigorating, and encouraging. Honestly READ THIS BOOK !! You will be glad you did !

15 people found this helpful

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Janet

Powerful & Moving

Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2024

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I wasn't sure what to expect from this memoir, however having enjoyed the fictional books he's written, I thought I'd give it a go & I'm glad I did. His writing is honest & vulnerable, key ingedients, especially for a memoir. Topics such as depression & anxiety are not only difficult to write about but to do so in a relatable way that takes one on a journey is admirable. And although one might think reading this could be depressing, it was actually uplifting, even funny at times, & extremely insightful. Would definitely recommend!

3 people found this helpful

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Eric V.

A Must Read for Anyone with Depression

Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2024

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As a chronic and lifelong depressive, I so appreciated and enjoyed this beautiful book. Matt Haig’s prose danced in my brain and warmed my heart. He piloted his way through depressions- flowing into them and drowning under them. Through them, he described my depressions. His panics articulated my jagged broken glass nerve attacks. And he vividly describes how he survived his depression and anxiety and is a friend and guide to coping with them. If you have depression or know someone who has depression, please read his book!

8 people found this helpful

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Maker of Small Things

Reasons to read this book:

Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2016

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1) You have suffered/ are suffering depression and/or anxiety.
2) You know someone who has suffered/ is suffering depression and/or anxiety.

If you’re asking the question “Is this book for me?”, then the answer is simply, statistically speaking, that this book is for everybody. There isn’t a single person who wouldn’t benefit from the candid insights and sincerity it contains. Matt Haig has given us a book that is half memoir, half life raft, spoken with a voice that combines honesty with wit, humor and tenderness. ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ is far from maudlin, or pontificating. It’s not ‘heavy’, or overly-academic. It is short, matter-of-fact, a lot of which is constructed so that it can be digested just one single page at a time.

This book doesn’t set out to define anxiety and depression, but Matt Haig has a way of articulating his own experience that will resonate deeply. ‘Reasons to Stay Alive’ will make you laugh and cry. It’ll make you wish for more Andreas in the world. It is, without doubt a Very Important Book.

I intend to press this into the hands of family, friends, colleagues and strangers. It’s a book that speaks clearly and eloquently for those who find that words escape them. As author Joanne Harris said, ‘Sometimes depression can be like falling into a wordless pit. Matt Haig finds the words. And he says them for all of us.’

Indeed, he does. And thank you.

10 people found this helpful

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C. S.

Good… but if you need an urgent life-saver book, this isn’t it.

Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2023

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I think the book is really brave. I’m only 50 pages in and the author’s honestly vulnerability is appreciated.
That said, if you are acutely struggling with suicidal ideation and desperately turning to the internet trying to find any shred of hope that that life is worth living, like I was… this is not the book you need right now.
The author begins by describing his own battle with suicidal ideation and even the “hopeful” moments are still tinged with the cynicism of a depressed person. Reading the author’s story of depression, addiction, and suicidal ideation actually made my suicidal ideation and depression spiral worse. I had to put the book down. I will come back to this book in the future when I am more grounded and able to stick with it. I do believe it gets more positive later on and I’m assuming, based on skimming through, he talks eventually about his recovery, the hope, and actual reasons to stay alive.
If you’re severely depressed, wondering if you can go on, and looking for a book that will help you “snap out of it” right from the first few pages, try “Uncovering Happiness” by Elisha Goldstein or “How I Stayed Alive When my Brain Was Trying to Kill Me” by Susan Rose Blauner. Hang in there.

52 people found this helpful

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A Brewer mom

breath of fresh air

Reviewed in the United States on January 16, 2023

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A breath of fresh air sounds formulaic when reviewing art but it fits Reasons to Stay Alive. The title made me bristle a little. I mean I’m slogging through life to be strong enough to keep my beautiful, talented 20 year old daughter alive in this world she finds cruel. That is all a depressed mother needs for a reason. But then thinking about how her writing is probably the biggest thing that keeps my daughter alive and fighting humbled me and I wanted to know a different writers perspective.

I don’t know how this ended up on my kindle or when I placed it there but I read it over a few hours several months into my daughters latest depressive episode. This has been a real bad one and although we are still in the pit or as she calls it ‘the horrors’ things are lifting a bit. I opened up Reasons to Stay Alive kind of by accident. While reading this I felt that hopefulness that comes sometimes that is so hard to quantify. I also have depression and soldier on because I am tough and I am a mother. I am my daughters rock. I really have no idea what she would do without me. But now I recognize other reasons to stay alive.

I feel like I’m going to reread this quite a lot. I thank the author and the universe which placed the book in front of me this week.

51 people found this helpful

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Jessica

Great Book

Reviewed in Canada on November 11, 2022

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A nice and comforting read. Helped me feel better and at peace with myself. It always helps knowing that you aren't alone and that there are others out there with issues like yours too.

4 people found this helpful

Carlos Higa

Thank you, Matt!

Reviewed in Brazil on May 19, 2022

Verified Purchase

I didn't know Matt until I read The Midnight Library, which I loved. This is another wonderful book written by Matt, I really recommend it. Depression is no joke, and we all have to help each other. I guess this book is how Matt is helping us, telling us what he has been through, and showing us that even when things are really bad, there are reasons to stay alive.

2 people found this helpful

sarah

Great read, thought provoking

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 21, 2024

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This book as been so helpful for me. It came at a time when I needed motivation and reassurance. Well written.

Durva Ravnang

One of the best books on Mental Health!

Reviewed in India on January 17, 2024

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“Wondering if in the board game of life everything we thought was a ladder, was in fact a snake, sliding us down to the bottom. As any Buddhist would tell you, an over-attachment to material things will lead only to more suffering”- Matt Haig (Reasons To Stay Alive)

‘Reasons to stay alive’ is the memoir of author Matt Haig highlighting the part of his life where he was battling with depression and mental health issues. But the book is more than just a memoir. It is a book that gives you hope and courage to deal with your own battles.

Sometimes we all hit rock bottom. Reality feels like this one dark tunnel without any escape. And depression and anxiety are not something that come and go once and for all; it is always a recurring phase. How you decide to deal with it, makes the difference! The author describes several incidents of his bouts of anxiety and panic attacks, and how he overcame them.

The best part about this book is that it has bite-sized chapters and it's written in simple language. Read it if you ever felt alone, if you ever had depression/anxiety/panic attacks, if you have lost hope in life, if you can't afford therapy, if you want to make life meaningful again, if you feel stuck, if you have too many regrets!

This book is not a substitute to therapy and medicines, but it will surely help you and be your support system. You can come back to this book whenever you feel anxious or stressed out, and turn to any page and just start reading. It is the best mental health book I have ever read! I was able to relate to the book a lot, it felt like chatting with a close friend.

Highly recommend!! My Rating 5/5.

Julieta st

Un libro reconfortante

Reviewed in Spain on January 7, 2024

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A medida que lo lees, te das cuenta que todo eso que sentiste, es normal. Que no estas solo y que se sale.

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